The God Handbook for Dummies

Prerequisites

  1. Create the Universe
  2. Create the Rules
  3. Abide By the Rules
  4. Set An Example

Create the Universe

Gods are "all-powerful". That means you're the creator, the head honcho, you make the rules of life and how those rules play out represents everything you are, because you're the creator.

There is no limitation to the number of useless stars, suns, planets, moons and galaxies you can create. Heck, for that matter, make a universe of tons of distractions and focus on one planet and send your son, presuming there's a female god out there to make one, to it on vacation every human thousand years or so.

Create the Rules

This is where things can get crazy.

Make sure your rules don't contradict themselves. You can't be "all powerful" yet be subjected to an adversary, such as a fallen angel that YOU created and can't get rid of. It's a hard sell.

"Hey, I am GOD and I am all powerful, but this Satan guy? What is up with him and this hell thing that is sucking up the majority of everything I created?"

It's a hard sell, because if you're truly "all powerful" you can't create a villain yet be helpless to it. This ain't Batman & Robin vs. the Joker on a Hollywood set where you gotta keep the tension/suspense going and it's a hard fight. It destroys the "all powerful" persona and if you aren't "all powerful", you aren't a "god". It also implies that you make mistakes and gods don't make mistakes because they know everything, k?

Speaking of knowing everything, setting up a "free will" ideal knowing that 90% of your creation is going to suffer in a hell that you created, because you're the creator of everything, based on believing shit that can't even be proven after thousands of years, and basically vacating their own logic based upon con-artists writing a book that says it's all your word and if they don't believe it they're going to burn in fire forever, the created species are going to question your logic and will likely have a lightbulb moment. Kinda like a cold call from your bank asking you to confirm your credit card number. While the dumb (you created them) may fall for it, part of the created won't.

Abide By the Rules

Don't limit the rules to 10 commandments and then break them yourself. You can't say, "thou shalt not kill", then wipe out an entire planet with a flood. Your constituents will begin to question your integrity. If YOU can't follow your own rules, then maybe they aren't good rules?

Don't tell your prophets to put their son on an alter and take a knife to his chest just for fun regardless of how many shots you've had that makes you think telling him to do that's funny. The kid's not going to get the sense of humor, even if the prophet does offer lunch after the attempted murder.

Don't tell your constituents to wage war and kill other constituents. The Dark Ages kinda give a bad rep moving forward to more proper civilization where they aren't as gullible--er, at least parts of said civilization anyway.

Set An Example

It's probably best assumed that a god shouldn't have "thou shalt not kill" in the 10 commandments from the start.

To end the scenario by kicking your "son"/yourself out of heaven to get killed--your choice--you're the god--which makes you the murderer--because "that's the 'only' way"--by the rules YOU set up--for redemption of what's left of the little planet you erased of life at one point in time. It's all about death. If it ain't the humans on the planets, it's goats or somethin'.

Overall, the death thing is a bad look and they are eventually going to wonder why an all-powerful god would choose so much death when visualizing creation.

About the Author

Currently a Lakewood Ranch, Florida resident, Philip has authored various interactive blog websites since the early 2000’s. Most content will be based primarily on matters of opinion as usual.

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